Welcome.
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Book
  • On Cinema
    • Essays on Film
    • Top Film Lists & Reflections
    • On Terrence Malick
    • Nathan's Thesis
  • Photography
    • Death in Paris
    • Venizia
    • Napoli
    • Havana
    • Roma
    • Seoul
    • Milano
    • Shenzhen
    • Taipei
  • Men I Trust
  • About
  • Press
  • Speeches!
  • Upcoming Shows
  • Films

Nicer Than They Look

11/13/2017

6 Comments

 
Picture
Really trim, this young out-of-towner. Svelte would be the word. She tossed her hair to one side and listened as I answered her question.

"Yeah, so it's divided into three parts," I was saying. "There's Chinatown, Japantown, and Vietnamtown, and Chinatown has the stuff that stays open the longest."
"So the part I'm going to would be…"
"Chinatown, yeah. And if you'd rather do sushi, that's just a little further east and north…"
"Nah, no sushi, I'm starving!"
"Quantity is an issue! I know how you feel!" We started talking portion sizes. I pointed out various spots I thought might be suitable.

She said, "is it safe to walk around in Chinatown?"
"Um. Uh. It's okay."
"Oh. It's just okay."
"Just pretend to be really confident, you know? And people will sense that."
"Fake it until–"
"Exactly. In a weird way that works."
"Okay," she replied. "I won't have a problem walking in Chinatown. My race, my age!"
"Yeah, you should be fine. And you know, most… a lotta the guys are friendlier than they look."

​That's no Pollyanna talk, reader. I feel lucky in being able to speak from experience. 

A new ladyfriend and I were once about our business on the town, getting ready to step off the back of a 5, when– wait, I asked her. There's someone I want to introduce you to. Okay, she said, blinking a little when she saw who we were approaching.

I nuzzled with my hand a massive brooding heap near the back doors. The hulking form stirred from light slumber. Swarthy and weathered, dreadlocks and matted layers stuck together, streetspeckled dingy. I waved a hand, friendly.
"Hello Mister Avery! Wha's happening?"
"Aw Mister Nathan, heeyy, now!"
"Listen, it's somebody I want you to meet!"

You remember Avery. He may be the most deferential, respectful man on the street right now– if indeed he's still on the street. This was years ago. "Aw good morning, young lady," he said to my companion. "It's a real pleasure. This is the man right here, you got a good dude."

As she and I stepped out I noticed another man– there's Charlie, waving his sign at Third and Pine, with his usual coterie scattered about him, discussing politics and religion– and over here, another fellow who calls himself Muhammad Ali. He still had his front teeth then. I introduced her to them all by name. She was nonplussed.* What just happened? Who is this guy? These aren't the types of people she was used to meeting. They weren't hipsters with beards and plastic-frame glasses, or uptown professionals. The relationship didn't last, but I hope that morning lives on in her mind as a pleasant recollection, a memory of class boundaries bulldozed aside with decency.

A similar incident happened with another young lady some time later. She later told me, "okay first of all there's like five things about that interaction that have never happened to me before. Lots of people come up to me. But the craziest thing is, I've never had some guy on the street tell me how lucky I am to know the dude I'm with. Guys don't say that. They say to the guy, 'you got a lucky girl. This' a special girl here, she's really beautiful,' whatever. They don't congratulate me for ignoring them for the competition! Jesus! You must really be doing something out here!"

Reader, I blush. It isn't me those fine men are so enthused about, but the act of being respected. It's my enthusiasm for them, my acknowledgment, my ignorance of stereotypes. Oh, it's that one kid bus driver again, who doesn't make me feel like a scary-looking black man, who throws fresh air my way. It's kindness these guys are so excited about, not me. They know hardly anything of me, after all, except my attitude.

As a bus driver, you're in a lucky position. You're an authority figure with undeniable street cred that can't be ignored. Uniquely, you're also a neutral party. That's what separates the role from most other interactions between authority figures and the underserved: you're not enforcing anything. You're serving. You're just there, in the city's worst neighborhoods at night, having a remarkably affable– or pleasantly ho-hum, depending on your approach– evening.

I'm not saying the folks are always on their best behavior. I realize certain situations are eased with my unfair advantage in being male– and a mixed-race male to boot ("Everyone's half-you," a passenger once quipped). Having posters of my face everywhere doesn't exactly hurt either… but moments of respect and appreciation were occurring way before the ad campaign. They occur when people think I'm white. They happen to my bus driver friends who are female. Sometimes, the folks choose to mirror what we offer, because of their own good qualities.

"A lotta the guys are friendlier than they look." Of course I wish that were always true. But the point is that it's often true, and we would do well to elevate our general opinion of certain groups accordingly. There is real kindness out here, and I've seen it, breathed it, and still breathe because of it.

--
​
*Nonplussed means surprised and confused, usually to the degree of not knowing how to respond. The word's been developing a slang usage in the US exactly the opposite of its original definition; some people think it means unsurprised or unperturbed (Google the definition for a laugh, as you'll be presented with two perfectly opposed meanings). I use the word here in its original definition.
6 Comments
surely link
11/19/2017 08:29:37 pm

Hi! I ride your bus and I think you are a complete fake. You are annoying on the microphone, mainly because you are saying things every passenger knows: "Here we go"... "Hang on tight" ...and whatever useless BS you can conger. I've seen the #7 go batshit under your "care" with no attention what-SO-EVER. Meanwhile we have to endure the mess which is your art project. it's NOT YOUR BUS!! Just drive please????!!!! Try and find another way to become "famous".

Reply
Nathan
11/20/2017 01:33:44 pm

Stephen,

I appreciate your feedback. You and Mark would get along, if you don't know him from the street already– he also doesn't care for friendliness qua friendliness, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Those of us ops who call out our own zones do so for different reasons, but one of those reasons is how annoying listening to 8 hours of the robot voice is– I'm sure you find me as discombobulating as I find the intrusive "Kate," which is why my announcements are briefer than hers, if more humane. And you're right, the bus belongs to the people, not myself, which is part of why what happens on it is outside my control. I don't wish to change your opinion on these matters, but there is one thing I'd like to clear up.

Your notion that I reach out to others and document positivity for the sake of fame comes as a surprise– surely you know kindness and empathy are about the most unpopular attitudes in western culture today. Nothing could be less newsworthy than working-class people being nice to each other! The proof of my goal being positivity, not popularity, is my bus-driving approach existing long before the blog– five full years, in fact. The blog was always an offshoot, not an end game. As a former Hollywood resident and someone who's experienced certain decidedly non-glamourous elements of fame up close, trust that fame doesn't interest me.

Being kind does.

Reply
Deb
11/20/2017 03:32:41 pm

Stephen, of course everyone is entitled to their opinion. I have a friend (who doesn't ride the 7 that I know of) who complains about the chatty bus drivers. Different strokes for different folks. There have been times when I was a commuter between Seattle and Tacoma that I would vacillate between being amused and being annoyed by chatty drivers. I also noticed that the mood on the bus changed with the time of day. In this case it was the 594 which is like two completely different routes, depending on the time of day. At rush hour commute times, it was full of lawyers, professors, investment bank workers, etc. and the bus was quiet; a lot of the people were reading or working. In the middle of the day, the ridership was more like a very mild version of the 7. Different demographics tend to respond differently to various stimuli, including chatty bus drivers. My take on this--based on direct observation--is that some folks have their social circles at home and work, and the bus is only there to get people from one end to the other. For others, their social network is on the bus, both between the driver and the passengers and between the passengers themselves. I’ve observed this many times, but of course, that doesn’t mean that things always fall into line so cleanly.

Most of all, though, I want to address your calling Nathan fake and just wanting to be famous. The first time I met Nathan was in about 2009 or 2010 (at least two or three years before the blog started) on the afternoon rush hour on the 3/4 northbound toward Queen Anne. He was friendly, acknowledging every person who got on the bus. I distinctly remember that ride and the driver! Years later a friend posted in Facebook a link to this blog. I looked it over and realized that I knew who the author was, none other than that nice, young driver who by his demeanor made people show their better sides. I recognized the tone in his writing, and I immediately devoured every entry on his blog. I well remember thinking that if I hadn’t already met and ridden with Nathan, I, too, would have brushed it off as being fake. But I had met him in person, ridden his bus in person, and could see the sincerity shining through, reflecting what I witnessed in person in his writing. And your comment was glaring in its isolation. I’ve met people on the street and started talking about “that bus driver”. “NATHAN!” they say. (Yes, they, as in plural. It has happened several times.) In that one word, I can hear the respect. So, no, it’s not fake.

Reply
Nathan
11/22/2017 12:09:10 pm

Deb,

Thanks so much for this gracious and thoughtful reply. I still remember that rainy night on the packed 3/4!

I think if our disgruntled friend spent some more time with the blog (such as reading the post which he commented on, which amusingly addresses my focus as opposite to the assumptions he states!) and some more time on his own thoughts– I imagine he was hasty given the amount of spelling errors he makes– he might feel differently. He does have a point though, in that too much on the microphone can be intolerable when you just want to go home, as you yourself mention; thus why I avoid jokes, songs, etc. He's lucky my route is so frequent he can easily choose to take a different bus– no real excuse there.

Compassion is usually scoffed at by those who don't need it in order to survive. That's a privilege.

Hope to run into you again soon, Deb! Keep putting out all the great goodwill, as you so ably always do!

Mia
11/25/2017 09:37:32 am

Stephen,

I take the 7 almost daily. The bus driver job is to keep the peace and, of course, drive the bus safely. Sometimes, riders have other things on their minds so it helps when some operators call out the stops.

Just yesterday, an infrequent bus rider didn't know that around 7 p.m. the 7 and the 49 are one long route. We have a lot of tourists from all over the world, so they often need help because they are in unfamiliar surroundings. Nathan's customer service makes a difference!

He is kind person, not fake at all! I know him as truly caring person...helping passengers with grocery carts, wheelchairs, walkers, strollers, etc. As a person with multiple disabilities and neurological issues, it helps me when he lowers the bus for me.

The other day, I was on another bus (not Nathan's) with my elderly mother with her walker. The operator made room for a mom and her kids in the disabled & elderly section up front which was fine. The operator did not say anything. I lost my balance even when I had my walking stick & my mom's walker. For me, having someone who warns me is important because it's a safety issue.

I appreciate the way that Nathan acknowledges every person from every walk of life. I used to find it a little unusual because some operators don't always communicate much. I know that everyone is different and that's okay.

Reply
Nathan
11/28/2017 12:03:16 pm

Mia,

Thanks so much for your words here. They, and the thousands of other voices along Rainier and elsewhere in the city, who support the concepts of assistance, community, respect and love, keep me going.

As a society we have deemphasized the power of institutions and the collective to help people (as a collective, solving homelessness, for example, would be very easy: tax the US's richest 10% an extra 0.01%, with a focus for use in the relevant areas; that money would change people's lives in a way a few coins never will), in favor of people being more individualistic, and thinking about their own needs only. With the collective power of a society no longer being harnessed to help the disenfranchised in tactile ways, it falls to the individual to make a difference.

As individuals, we cannot effect change in the giant manner that society as a collective could, and handing out a few bills here and there accomplishes next to nothing... but we can help the person next to us feel equal, respected, not alone, even just acknowledged for a moment. In the subjective realm, that morale boost is huge because of how inspiring it can be. It's not just a desire on my part; it's a responsibility to my fellow human being. It's what we can do for now.

I've met a lot of people who don't care about these people, and I'll be damned if I'm going to ignore them (and the goodwill/morale they've given me) for the sake of a privileged, angry man's comfort. He should continue feeling the way he does if it makes him happy and helps those around him; I'll endeavor to do the same.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    RSS Feed

    Subscribe

    Nathan


    -What is this blog? Check out the explanatory first post, or read the  front-page Seattle Times writeup here! 

    Here's a one-page crash course with links and highlights: Nathan Vass 101

    My Book is Finally Easy to Purchase!

    -For New Bus Drivers: Thoughts, Tips, and Stories
    -How to Drive the 7: The Complete Care Package

    Popular posts:

    Only have time for one story? Try these. 
    -The Day The Earth Stood Still
    -Le Park de Cal Anderson
    -
    21st Century Man
    -One Last Story (Video)
    ​
    -Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About the Great & Terrible 358
    -I'M A LIGHT-SKINNED BLACK WOMAN!
    -The Final Flurry: Index
    ​
    -Scroll down on this sidebar to "On the Street," below, for more highlights~

    Personal:
    -International Examiner Interview (Plus a word to my fellow Hapas!)
    -
    Full (Redmond) Circle (includes event gratitude writeup index)
    -Surviving the Social Desert: Nathan on High School
    -With What Time We Have
    -My Seattle
    -On Second Acts
    -Yves Klein, Color of the Heavens
    ​
    ​-Popular Posts from 2018, with Commentary
    -Nathan Vass, 2019 Washington State Book Award Finalist
    -Nathan on the Elliott Bay event: Parts I, II, and III
    -Seattle Magazine / Third & Cherry
    -Pretty Sure I Don't Deserve This
    -How I Live Now
    -Escaping the Overlords: Nathan on Comcast
    ​
    -I Am Now Ten Years Old
    -Confession
    -Flowers in a Pool of Blood: Thoughts From an American in Paris
    -Paris, One Year Later: A Personal Perspective
    -The Transgender Ban
    -Nathan on the Las Vegas shootings: On Terror & Other Things
    ​
    -The Birthday That Almost Never Happened
    ​
    -Nathan Takes a Day Off:
    Part 1 (See Nathan Run);
    Part 2 (Nathan Gets Excited); 
    Part 3 (Nathan Sounds Like Morgan Freeman)
    -Rad(iation) City
    -La La Land & What Los Angeles Means
    -Reparations
    -Names Nathan gets called! A list in three parts: 1, 2, 3
    -Where and How it All Began
    -How I Write the Posts, and Why
    -Chaleur Humaine
    -A Story
    -What Not to Say​
    -In Praise of Silver Hair
    -You're Been a Good Friend of Mine
    -...And a Splendid New Year!
    -Nathan Converses With His Colleagues: Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8... and 65

    Political:
    -What's In a Number (Trump's legacy)
    -Praise Island (Biden's win)
    -The United States of Floyd
    -The Great Male Detoxification Project
    -The Day the Music Died
    -Kindness In the Days of After
    -Understanding Love & Hate During Trump Nation
    -More than Health, More than Money
    -Seattle, Center of the Modern Universe
    ​
    ​-What We Did, Today
    -This Story Has Nothing to do With Donald Trump
    -Don't Be Scared of My Friends, Part I
    -Don't Be Scared of My Friends, Part II
    -The Music Isn't Dead (Yet)
    -Nathan Actually Talks Politics, Pt III: Keeping the Music Alive
    -Pulling Our Weight, Part II: Addressing the Homeless Laziness Question
    -Getting Some Diversity Off My Chest
    ​
    -The Veterans
    -Islamofriendia
    -Be at Peace, Mr. Garner. We Will Love the World For You
    -The Streets Regard Ferguson
    -How do You Change the World? Thoughts on Violence
    -Cowboys of the New Age: Status & Respect in the American Ghetto
    -A Boy Named Hamza: Thoughts on Hate in Three Parts 
    -It Used to Sound Like This

    ​On film & art:
    -Trois Objets 1: on Michael Mann's Heat
    -Trois objets 2: On Antonello da Messina's Annunciate Virgin
    -Trois Objets 3: On East of Eden
    -On Laura's Book
    -Nathan on Seattle's Waterfront: Before and After
    ​-Nathan's Films of 2019: Top 2 Plus 23 Runners Up (photos, trailers, analysis & more)
    -Once Upon a Time... in Dreams: On Tarantino, Violence, and Transcendence
    -On Finishing Men I Trust
    -The Lie & How to See It: On Hate, Despair & Hope in Contemporary Film
    -
    Notre Thoughts
    -Addressing Despair: Nathan on First Reformed
    -How Evergreen Became Irrelevant
    -October 2018 show breakdown: all the deets 
    -On Color Darkrooms
    -The Non-Bailers: Thank You to the Cast & Crew of Men I Trust, Pt I
    -People I Trust: Thanks to My Cast and Crew, Pt 2
    -Nathan's Overlooked Films of 2016: Trailers, photos, analyses
    -A Bus Driver Reviews the New Bus Driver Movie! 
    -My Films
    -Song to Song and Malick: The Cutting Edge
    ​
    -Nathan on Wet Lab Prints
    -Kehinde Wiley: The Morning After
    -Nathan the Friendly Hermit, Part I: Nathan Gets Pasty
    -
    Nathan the Friendly Hermit, Part II: Pastier and Pastier
    -Birdman, (a) Film of the Decade
    -
    Gone Girl: Fidelity & Subjectivity
    -On Gravity and Identity
    ​-Primary Colors with Music: Andrea Arnold's American Honey
    -Sicario: Why Visuals Matter
    -The Martian: On Intelligence in Pop Culture
    -About Elly
    -Best films of 2015: Trailers, photos, analyses
    -Selected writings on films released in 2014, 2013, and 2012. 

    On the Street:
    -It's Complicated (on Rainier RapidRide)
    -Jessica Lee
    -Ah, Volume
    -Eulogy for the Damned
    -King Travis
    ​-The Great and Terrible Fifth & Jackson: An Ethnography
    The Veterinarian: A Story on Grief in 4 Parts
    -The Glow
    -Decent Street: Kendrick, Gender, Lingo, & the Good Man Problem
    -The Shake'N'Bake: Parts 1, 2, & 3
    -
    Pulling Our Weight, Part I
    -Pulling Our Weight, Part II: Addressing the Homeless Laziness Question
    -I've Been Sainted
    -Dominique The Mystique
    ​
    -Deserve, the Concept and the Song
    ​-Gangsta Phone Strategy, Deep Breaths & Kindness Rising
    -The Joy of Bus Driving
    -The Knife's Edge Dance
    ​
    -The Soulful Stench
    -"Everybody Need to Quit Acting Hard and S**t"
    -The Mother's Day Apocalypse
    -Ode to the 358
    -"I BET YOU APPROVE UH GAY MARRIAGE"
    -The Question
    -By Himself
    -Appreciation
    -Banter in the Nighttime
    -The Nathan Train
    -The Benevolent Roar
    -Truthfulness, the Final Currency
    -Love is in the Air
    -Surfing the Sparkling Wave
    ​-Saddest Music in the World​
    -Rainier & Henderson, Baby!
    -Sheeeeeeyyiitt: Strategies for Day or Night
    ​-AngryNice I (Love Through Frustration)
    AngryNice II: Tran Chimes In
    AngryNice III (We've All Felt It)
    -Love (Hurting From a Lack Thereof)
    -Hip to be Joyful
    -Future, Present, Past
    ​-Changing Awful
    -Harsh
    ​-The Nameless Heroes
    -The Break-Up
    -Tropic Of
    -Figuring it All Out in the Bullpen
    -Leaving Small Talk Behind
    ​-She Did It On a Monday
    ​-One Day, My Friend
    -I Am Now Two Years Old
    ​-The Harder Thing
    -Poker Face Practice
    -The Great Freeze

    For Bus Drivers!
    --How to Drive the 7: The Complete Care Package
    -
    -It's Called Working
    -
    -Bus Driver Appreciation Day: Coronavirus Style
    -The Swagger I Love: Thoughts on My Fellow Operators
    ​-A Love Letter for My Colleagues: Exercises and Stretches for Operators
    -What I've Learned From Other Bus Drivers
    -Rest in Peace, Breda Monster
    -I Don't Know What a Trolley is, Part I
    -I Don't Know What a Trolley is, Part II
    -Verbal

    Archives

    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Book
  • On Cinema
    • Essays on Film
    • Top Film Lists & Reflections
    • On Terrence Malick
    • Nathan's Thesis
  • Photography
    • Death in Paris
    • Venizia
    • Napoli
    • Havana
    • Roma
    • Seoul
    • Milano
    • Shenzhen
    • Taipei
  • Men I Trust
  • About
  • Press
  • Speeches!
  • Upcoming Shows
  • Films