From this conversation, I probably don't need to point out that this is on a 358, but I suppose I will anyway! We're southbound, between 160th and 155th, by Rich's Used Car Corner and Chevron Gas. There's an older woman with a sorrowful voice who would like a question answered.
"Bus driver?"
"Yeah?"
"How come people don't have tails like other animals?"
"What's that?"
"How come people don't have tails like other animals?"
"I'm sorry, I'm having trouble hearing you."
"How come people don't have tails like other animals?"
"Uh,"
The man next to her, in shades, handlebar mustache, and cowboy hat: "She's asking why people don't have tails."
"You know, that's a great question. I have a couple different answers for that," I say in a meaningful voice, working my mind into a space where this question is entirely reasonable. "One is that tails in animals are often for balance, but in animals that stand vertically like us, we don't need a tail because it would throw us off balance, but-" into the mic: "next stop is 155th, by Safeway-" and back with her- "but in more horizontally-oriented animals like cats, you need tails to balance things out so they can move around easy."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Have you ever heard of anyone who had a tail?"
"Yeah, actually.. there's a guy who had surgery to make himself look like a cat, and another guy who got surgery to look like a lizard, but I don't know if either of them have tails." (Further research reveals they don't; nor was I aware of cases of abnormal vestigial tail-like growths. I'm falling behind on my human tail knowledge).
"Can he move his tail?"
"The lizard guy?"
"No, the cat guy. Can he move his tail back and forth?"
"You know, I'm not sure. I don't think so. It's just made of, it's not, well, I don't even know if he has one."
"Oh."
"Lizards can regrow their tails."
"Why?"
"If they fall off."
Cowboy hat: "I think we don't have tails because then we would need different pants!"
"You know, you're right. That's gotta be it," I say. "Be too much trouble. I mean, where you gonna put that thing?"
The lady is still worried. "Have you ever known or heard of anybody who was buried alive?"
Cowboy hat takes over, answering in the affirmative. Then we talk about his cat, which he firmly believes is a mix between a Lynx and a jackrabbit ("well, I think I'm sure,"), and who is tailless. He confirms it by showing me a picture on his phone.
"Excellent," I say.
We continue down the wide expanses, having rational, thoughtful conversations about tails, cemeteries, pigs and helicopters. The high school kids from Ingraham get on, watching my smile- and my straight face. I'm in wonderful company.
"Bus driver?"
"Yeah?"
"How come people don't have tails like other animals?"
"What's that?"
"How come people don't have tails like other animals?"
"I'm sorry, I'm having trouble hearing you."
"How come people don't have tails like other animals?"
"Uh,"
The man next to her, in shades, handlebar mustache, and cowboy hat: "She's asking why people don't have tails."
"You know, that's a great question. I have a couple different answers for that," I say in a meaningful voice, working my mind into a space where this question is entirely reasonable. "One is that tails in animals are often for balance, but in animals that stand vertically like us, we don't need a tail because it would throw us off balance, but-" into the mic: "next stop is 155th, by Safeway-" and back with her- "but in more horizontally-oriented animals like cats, you need tails to balance things out so they can move around easy."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Have you ever heard of anyone who had a tail?"
"Yeah, actually.. there's a guy who had surgery to make himself look like a cat, and another guy who got surgery to look like a lizard, but I don't know if either of them have tails." (Further research reveals they don't; nor was I aware of cases of abnormal vestigial tail-like growths. I'm falling behind on my human tail knowledge).
"Can he move his tail?"
"The lizard guy?"
"No, the cat guy. Can he move his tail back and forth?"
"You know, I'm not sure. I don't think so. It's just made of, it's not, well, I don't even know if he has one."
"Oh."
"Lizards can regrow their tails."
"Why?"
"If they fall off."
Cowboy hat: "I think we don't have tails because then we would need different pants!"
"You know, you're right. That's gotta be it," I say. "Be too much trouble. I mean, where you gonna put that thing?"
The lady is still worried. "Have you ever known or heard of anybody who was buried alive?"
Cowboy hat takes over, answering in the affirmative. Then we talk about his cat, which he firmly believes is a mix between a Lynx and a jackrabbit ("well, I think I'm sure,"), and who is tailless. He confirms it by showing me a picture on his phone.
"Excellent," I say.
We continue down the wide expanses, having rational, thoughtful conversations about tails, cemeteries, pigs and helicopters. The high school kids from Ingraham get on, watching my smile- and my straight face. I'm in wonderful company.
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