• Published on

    The Child

    Picture
    A figure under streetlights, his gesticulating arms spread wide as he stood in front of his companion. 

    The high-pressure sodium-vapor lamps of yore have a way of collapsing the color spectrum just so; the deep shade of his skin made less of an impression, and I couldn't discern what color his open denim jacket was, nor his sagging jeans, layered undergarments and assorted street jewelry, contrasty basketball shoes which could as easily be blue as red. Tonight he was just a forty-something figure cloaked in monochromatic orange. I called out to him.

    [The rest of this story is available in my new book.]
  • Published on

    When You Want to Hear It

    Picture
    It seemed remiss of me not to at least ask.

    "How's he doin' out there? He's doin' okay?" He didn't look it, that's for sure, laid out on the sidewalk as he was, facing the heavens, maybe twitching a little, a crowd gathering round. A skinny, bearded mass, sprawled out on musty nighttime pavement.

    I was asking the woman who'd just stepped in. She wasn't your first idea of a registered nurse: another soul looking somewhat down and out, olive skin tanned hard under an open vest, asking if I stopped by the Union Gospel Mission in Pioneer Square. She'd mistakenly left her bag on a bench down there fifteen minutes ago, and was hoping against hope. It's Pioneer Square, sure, but... miracles have a way of happening in the worst places, too.

    "Oh, I think he's gonna be alright," she said.
    "I sure hope so. He doesn't look too great, lying around like that. Good to see some folks steppin' in."
    "And I'm a registered nurse, so,"
    "Oh see there you go. Gosh, I'm glad you were hangin' around! Nice uh you to lend your expertise!"
    "Well, I leaned in to check vitals, and he starts cussin' me out, 'get outta my face,' 'get the fuck away from me,' you know, and I'm all like, 'okay, he's fine!!"
    "Ha! Yeah, that's when you know they're okay!"
    "If they're cussin' you out, you know they're gonna be fine. If they're having trouble breathing, or they're unresponsive, that's one thing! But if they have the energy to actually be pissed off,"
    "Which takes a lot of energy!"
    "Oh yeah, he's gonna be fiiiiiiine. He's like, get away from me, you dumb bitch!"
    "Oh jeez."
    "Hey, it's cool. Means he's okay!"
    "Yeah, definitely gonna live. It's like a car crash, if both people get out of their cars start yelling at each other, you know that means everything's actually okay!"
    "Exactly. If they were actually hurting, you wouldn't hear anything. There would be nobody arguing!"

    Profanity never sounded so good.
  • Published on

    The Great and Terrible Fifth & Jackson: An Ethnography

    Picture
    Do I show up in his dreams, as he has in mine? 

    In my life he began as a recurring face in my periphery, one of those men who lay about the Fifth and Jackson plaza. The guy with the shorts. An hour, a month, a week: they're there, sidestepping life's challenges with another beer from the corner store across the way. How many methods are there for preventing the present from becoming the future, and at what point do these different attempts collapse under the weight of time? They live in the shadow of unconquered hurdles, looming problems supplanted by too many other issues to solve right now. Meanwhile, I've got enough here for a PBR....

    Allow me to paint you a picture.

    There's the northwest corner, including a recessed westerly alcove to the left of the FedEx. That's the bathroom. Closer to the corner proper, at the site of the now-disused Waterfront Streetcar terminal, is Hangout 1. It's shady and concentrated, a small staircase of sorts under cover of the weather, suitable for furtive transactions and exchanges. Amharic is the dominant language here. Wouldn't you find your own people in a new country, even if they weren't the sort you'd introduce to Mom?

    Directly east is Fifth and Jackson's northeast corner, Hangout Zero. In the Seattle tradition of safe and unsafe areas rubbing right up against each other and, incredibly, adhering to division lines as seemingly insignificant as a roadway, Hangout Zero is completely innocuous. It's not a hangout. There's nowhere to sit and it's too open. You could spend all day standing at the corner of Hangout Zero and expect not to be hassled.

    The southeast corner is the nearest, but not the most desirable, opportunity for liquor refueling. Hangout 2's Union Market mini-mart has suitably expansive open hours, sometimes gets shot up (or worse), but generally performs its function as a supply haven for drinking tendencies of the Bukowskiesque stripe. English is the language of choice on this corner, which doesn't have chairs or benches but is workable for those in walkers and wheelchairs, and besides offers a few utility boxes and garbage and recycling cans to lean on or perhaps explore. Treasure hunting, I believe, is a natural human impulse. 

    Further up, an entire two blocks out (a commitment, when you could just comfortably pass the time right here at Hangouts 1 or 2), is the mini-mart my recurring friend mentioned above prefers. He has an adventurer's spirit about him, and is too refined for Hangout 2's decidedly mediocre alcohol offerings. You've got to travel to get the good stuff.

    And then there's Hangout 3.

    The southwest corner is the Grand Poobah of this whole affair, and the reason all the satellite hangouts surrounding it exist in the first place. Designed in the 1980s in anticipation of the 1990 opening of the Downtown Seattle Transit Tunnel, atop which it sits, it vastly predates urban planning concepts aimed at discouraging sitting, loitering, sleeping, enjoying the sun, enjoying your neighbors- call it what you want. All that happens here. This open, welcoming (and okay, often nerve-wracking) brick plaza is supposed to be lived in, and it is. Sitting areas and shade abound. The bus zone on this block and transit tunnel below keep the proceedings flowing. 

    The adjacent Union Station (an immaculately restored former train station lobby, in a building now used for Sound Transit offices) extends the plaza the full length of the block. The buzzing hive that is Fourth and Jackson is one of Metro's key intersections, and the massive amount of service passing through gives a sense of the city's pulse. It's almost impossible for sixty seconds to go by without a bus in sight. You can feel when a game or event is brewing.

    Although it can't be true, I feel like I hang out at Hangout 3 as much as the friends I detail below. Personally, I love the space, and I've loved it since childhood. I'd stand there, at the decidedly safer and mysteriously drama-free far west railing facing Fourth, and watch the buses go by in awe. 

    Now I'm there every day, walking through it on my way to work, walking back to it from the base to wait for my bus, driving through it four or five times a night on the route of all routes, and using it as a passenger on my days off for the excellent transfer point that it is.

    And every time I'm there, no matter the hour, they are too. They carouse the nights and days away in various states of inebriation, on an endless summer vacation with gradually diminishing returns. 

    There's Ali of the Cane (a la Madonna of the Goldfinch), who jokes with me about why I've forgotten to bring him his very own Metro bus; there's my Laotian friend who teaches me key phrases and likes Coca-Cola, who may one day return to his family; there's another Ali, slightly less drunk but just as friendly, with sisters in Houston; his dream is to see them again. There's Tall Guy 1, who goes out of his way to greet me, and who is currently in a wheelchair and cast but plans to be out of them in six weeks; and Tall Guy 2, a more stolid presence, often not in a state to recognize my face, but kind when he is. Others are there intermittently, or are newer faces- Sabu, Einstein, Texas, and more. English tends to be the preferred language here, not because the crowd is generally American (as with Hangout 2), but because the international nature of the conglomerate requires a universal communication choice.

    The open layout from an earlier design time actually helps. Violence at Third and Pike/Pine too often involves bystanders, due to the cramped nature of the proceedings. Getting rid of the benches there hasn't gotten rid of anybody so much as simply prompted them to stand, blocking doorways to businesses and tunnel entrances, creating far too much street denizen-passersby friction. 

    Fifth and Jackson, conversely, is loitering done right: excepting the iffy nature of Hangouts 1 and especially 2, the plaza at Hangout 3 is a thing of beauty (we'll ignore Hangout Zero, which, absurdly, might be one of safest corners in the neighborhood). The plaza benches and landscaping invite and contain my Bukowski friends such that, if you prefer to avoid carousing, there's space and pathways to easily do so. Fights happen regularly enough here, and though both intersections have robust police presences, the spacial geography at Fifth and Jackson is such that violence almost never involves pedestrians or bystanders. It's kept "in-house," as it were. How nice.

    The face I most associate with Hangout 3 is the fellow with the shorts. Shorts is one of the Somalian set, often with Ali of the Cane and Tall Guy 2. He moves like people did in those old hand-cranked projections of silent films– sometimes slow motion, sometimes slightly fast, erratic. More often he's on the slower side, treading air like Charlie Chaplin in 1 A.M. Short curly hair, forties. In my first interactions with him, which were on my bus, I was apprehensive. He was unpredictable. He could be loud. I'd avoid eye contact in the plaza.

    Over time it occurred to me I need to be on good terms with these guys, because I see them daily and will for the foreseeable future. For me, they're like neighbors. Hangout 1 is still a little too confusing (and mysteriously empty this past week), but in passing through Hangout 3 I'll nod and wave, and the folks enthusiastically do the same.

    Once Shorts boarded at Third and James, clad in a knee-length pair of dirty white shorts held up by an elastic band. Just before stepping on, he indifferently tugged at the elastic, pulling out and readjusting an enormous, eighteen-inch serrated blade. He reinserted it near his underwear and loped in.
    I asked, "you're not gonna use that thing in here, are ya?" 
    His smile is so genuine. I love seeing it. "Oh no, my brotha," he replied. "No problems!"

    True to his word, he didn't harm a soul. These folks are rarely on the bus for very long; they have smaller orbits, and there's no law against riding the bus while carrying the world's biggest bread knife. 

    Not long ago I saw him, uncharacteristically, clear over on Capitol Hill, outside the Egyptian Theatre. He waited until I'd boarded all the passengers waiting there before exclaiming to me, "Summertime!"
    "Heeey! Whats goin on', man?"
    "I'm chillin' here today, over there, too much drama."
    "Yeah. Better over here, less drama."
    "Yup!"
    "Less drama! Alright man, I'll see you again."
    "Yup! Thank you so much!"

    His yup had a childlike quality, and so did his bright grin. Those components in combination with the shorts made him appear younger than he is. I certainly wasn't expecting to hear a preference for less drama from Mr. Bread Knife Machete, but was happy to share that in common for the moment.

    Most recently I saw him again at the corner of Broadway and Pine. He must be taking to the area. He was rocking back and forth on his feet a little, asking a put-together passerby for spare change. To a stranger his propulsive voice and leering demeanor can be frightening, and this Amazon-young-professional-looking fellow looked not a little terrified. 

    I was across the street in my bus, but I needed to wave. I forced open my window and tapped the horn, waving my arm out wildly, hoping Shorts would see me. He was disoriented but only for a second, and absolutely lit up upon recognizing me. "Heeeey," he yelled. I returned the howl with enthusiasm.

    I waved for two reasons.

    I wanted Mr. Young Professional to realize this crazy-looking immigrant street guy actually has friends– and friends in other parts of society at that. He can't be that scary. He's legitimate in somebody's eyes, and there are people who go out of their way to say hi to him. 

    I also wanted Mr. Shorts to feel something besides shunning and ostracism in that moment. Let him know not to put too much stock into Mr. Amazon's cold shoulder. He may not like you right now, Shorts, but there are people with jobs and without who love you, who get excited when they see you.

    This, these are the important things we can do in this life. It's what we're trying for when we're kind. To make our fellow human feel valued, acknowledged, important, in that brief blink of an eye during which we're here.
  • Published on

    Updates

    Picture
    It's curious. My father was in the A section of The New York Times not long ago, along with several other articles in various publications and a terrific short film on his work that's already won awards and been accepted to multiple festivals, and now there's myself on the front page of The Seattle Times. I'll say it made for one interesting driving day on Tuesday....

    I can't think of two people less interested in fame– especially him. The goal has always just been to be ourselves, authentically. For myself, am I happy that 31,000 people have visited this site in the last day? Of course I am.

    I desire to expand my readership because I would very much like to publish this blog in book form. The feedback I get on it is just too potent, and somewhere out there is a publisher willing to take a chance on the fact that there aren't currently any inspirational urban/ bus driver-customer service/ celebration of compassion/ non-fiction short story collections in existence.

    Putting aside the fact that the article is about me, what gratifies me about it is that it's headline news about something positive, about service work, about the timeless and timely nature of compassion. I really can't be thankful enough; and thanks also to you readers for sharing in the perspective and coming to the site. There's bus stories aplenty waiting in the wings, but for now, some updates:

    I've revamped the Films page and posted below with links and background on two recent film projects;
    Updated the Upcoming Shows area– I have one show running currently, with two more in September;
    And added a new page compiling the various videos of me telling stories about town. There's more of those in the offing, as well. 

    ​I also want to bump the recent "Well Hullo" post, a sort of "Intro to Nathan's Blog 101" from the other day for newcomers. 

    For those of you who've commented and emailed– I will get back to you! I'm just a lil' overwhelmed at the moment! Bear with me as I work on the site and scoot out the door to drive another shift!
  • Published on

    My Films

    Picture
    People have been asking about these for years. 

    I've withheld these for ages on the technical grounds that public online viewability often disqualifies films from festivals, but that's starting to be less of an issue now. These two shorts have had their rounds at respectable venues, and I'd rather you all just had a chance to see them. They're complicated, imperfect, delicate; designed to reveal themselves slowly, to be taken in more than once. Six of my films have played at festivals; these are the most recent two.

    Regulate (pictured above) stars Eleanor Moseley and Ryan Cooper, among others. In it, a recently remarried woman in her forties, whose daughter is suspected of terrorist activity, finally decides enough is enough with regard to her theatrical and overbearing ex-husband.

    The general idea was to shoot a chamber dialogue piece with greater-than-normal attention to aesthetics (see more below). Although I've received a lot of compliments on the film's visual design, I say the main 
    cause célèbre here is Eleanor's performance, particularly her closing monologue, shot in a six-minute unbroken take. ​This premiered at the Henry Art Gallery and was an Official Selection at the 2016 International Women's Festival and two other festivals.
    Full (twenty-eight minute) film here; IMDb link here.

    Picture
    I don't talk too much about the genesis behind my projects, but I'm told sharing is caring. If you're in the mood for a tell-all, check out Regulate's hour-long commentary with yours truly. 

    ​I'm not sure how I managed to talk that quickly for that long without any dead air.... Every question you could ever lob at me about theory, regrets, successes, content and formal decisions– good and bad– gets answered in this hour. Put it on while you do the dishes. This is how I see film.
    Picture
    Rejuvenate has been showcased on this blog before, but never in its full fifteen-minute form. Commissioned by Real Changethis film showcases the lives of two street newspaper vendors as the colorful, vibrant people they are.

    We see a lot of stories in process on the street, and we wonder where these folks come from. With Rejuvenate I wanted to offer a window of sorts, and not the usual dour one: I find tiresome the approach of filming the homeless in unsophisticated static shots of desaturated brown and grey. Just because documentaries focus on content doesn't mean they should get away with a lower bar for visual aesthetics. Here we focus on communicating to the viewer with dynamic camera movement, natural lighting, and rich color.

    We'll leave sociological analysis to the experts; this is a vérité celebration of two faces in the crowd as fleshed-out people with energy and dreams like yours and mine. Rejuvenate premiered at the 2013 Real Change Annual Breakfast, at the Washington State Convention Center, and was an Official Selection at the 2016 Seattle Transmedia Film Festival and the 2016 Grand IndieWise Convention. 
    Full (fifteen-minute) film here; IMDb link here

    Here's a newspaper profile on me written by one of the film's subjects, Tricia Sullivan.

    Information on my other films here

    ---

    Thanks for watching– on a big(ish) screen, I hope! 
  • Published on

    Well Hullo, World

    Picture
    Photo by Ken Lambert for The Seattle Times.

    If you read the blog, but don't read the paper, check out yesterday's front page article in The Seattle Times. I'm enormously indebted to Jessica Lee's reporting and Ken Lambert's photography.

    If you read the paper, but are new to the blog– thanks for stopping in! There's a wealth of material here, ready for you to explore via the sidebar of story categories on the right, the bestselling book you can buy, and photography (yes it's all film!) and movie tabs above.

    Check them out if you like, or explore this little Reader's Digest curation I've prepared for y'all:

    Stories in Written Form:

    • Two of the more impacting moments I've found on the street- the morning after Little Leon's mother died, And a eulogy for a woman who was hard to love but impossible to forget. And a third story, if you're looking for short and sweet.
    • Bus life comes in many flavors: funny, heartbreaking, inspiring, silly, and, er, one-of-a-kind.
    • Once it was easy to keep politics out of conversation; not so anymore. My words right after election day, but also just before: a reminisce of what the possibilities of October 2016 felt like.
    • I was three blocks away from the 2015 Paris terror attacks, which you may know killed or injured 505 people. I was listed as missing by the US Embassy for three days and found by CNN through an international search spearheaded by my friends (thanks, lovelies!). Thoughts just after the attacks here; photographs here; looking back a year later here.
    • I wrote film reviews when I lived in Hollywood, and still do occasional write-ups for this site. Visit the On Cinema page for in-depth analysis on technique, approach, and recomendations of films you may never have heard of, but just might love; or last year's bus driver movie, as reviewed by a (film critic!) bus driver. 
    • The "Great & Terrible" 358 (now called the E Line) was once the Grand Poohbah of bus routes, and made the 7 look like Sesame Street; check out this breakdown, written during the route's last days. I loved it out there. Most of my blog stories from winter 2012/3 and 2013/4 stem from it.
    • This past July marked the ten-year anniversary of my being behind the Metro wheel. Some ruminations, complete with embarrassing child photos.

    Stories in Video Form:


    Podcasts:
    • No time for a video? Try a podcast. Here I am pre-COVID on the Northwest Urbanist speed-talking about all things urban growth and transit in Seattle, and here I am post-COVID on The Urbanist talking about... well, just about everything, including COVID's impact on transit. Much more on the Press page.

    Thanks for sharing in the hope of helping others, in believing in the possibilities of goodness. I started this blog thinking it represented a minority opinion. I'm so happy to be wrong.

    Newcomers, thanks for your replies to the posts– which I will attend to shortly. I reply to every single comment on this site. 

    UPDATES:
    • 2018 was a banner year for me- I made a film, published a book, won a number of awards, and began popping on the radio and the telly a lil' more regularly. Here are highlights with commentary from that tumultuously exciting time.
    • Highlights from 2020-2022– new videos, stories, essays on people and film.
    • Drugs on buses: it's what everyone talks about now. Here's my take, as informed by my experiences on the street, and here are reflections on the recent UW Drugs on Buses study.