Welcome.
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Book
  • On Cinema
    • Essays on Film
    • Top Film Lists & Reflections
    • On Terrence Malick
    • Nathan's Thesis
  • Photography
    • Death in Paris
    • Venizia
    • Napoli
    • Havana
    • Roma
    • Seoul
    • Milano
    • Shenzhen
    • Taipei
  • Men I Trust
  • About
  • Press
  • Speeches!
  • Upcoming Shows
  • Films

Love is in the Air

9/21/2015

4 Comments

 
Picture
Begrimed is such a perfect word for this man, sitting in the front seat, staring at me. I love the English language. With 615,000 entries in the OED, you have the incalculable luxury of always being able to nail down the particular subtlety you're after. The unlaundered trenchcoat, kinked and torn and growing stiff with organic filth, fits right in on this ancient, dilapidated vehicle. The non-slip flooring is streaked with peeling paint, and the metallic panels and glass are carved about with various slogans and namesakes, their angular letters vying for attention with the natural blemishes of age. 

Several of the interior lights are out, and the resulting gloom emphasizes the shadows of our friends the bulky figures. As a youngster on the 174 I remember thinking that freeloaders and sleepers seemed larger, occupying of more space, because of their need to carry all possessions on their person. Jackets over hoodies over sweaters, and bags inside of bags. On this particular late-night 7 we carry a lot of sleepers, because the short turnaround time at Henderson means a full round trip of napping. It's pointless to fight such endeavors. For those who need it most, beds are among the harder things to find. 

The begrimed man at the front is no sleeper, however. He's wide awake, stubby fingers working as he regards me between thickset, narrowed slits. You know when a face in the shadows is watching you, even if the unkempt mustache conceals the mouth, even if nothing but pinpoints of light mark out the pupils. 

He's growling softly. Slowly his growls become discernible. He growls, "after you get off work I'm gonna take you home and make you mine."

They say sexual harassment is usually never about sex, but about power. To think of such come-ons as genuine flirtation would be amusing if they didn't end so awfully for some. You almost want to ask, has that approach ever actually worked?

Somehow my first impulse is to laugh. I do so, saying with friendly confidence, "oh, I don't know about all that!"
"As soon as you're off, you're comin' with me." The growl. "I'll warm you right up."

I did what a female night operator once told me works for her– accept the implicit compliment and then steer the conversation somewhere else. Lead this dance, don't follow. 

"Yeah, tonight's my last night before vacation, nine days," I say.
"Lucky you."
"Yeah man, I'm thankful. Doesn't happen often, lemme tell ya."
"Where you goin'?"
"Mostly I'll stay here, but I'm takin' a few short trips out to the East Coast, then down to LA, that's my hometown."
"What parta LA?"
"South Central. You know South Gate?"
"Yeah, I'm from Orange County."
"Oh, cool! What part?"
"Anaheim." Which, though it's a big city, has zero street cred compared to South Central. In the ongoing (and completely useless) SoCal geographical status dialogue, there's a hierarchy here which works in my favor. The thing to do is let him feel respected despite that, bring him in.
"Oh, cool. Friend of mine went to Chapman, the school there."
"Yeah, it's a good school," he grunts.
"So I've heard. You know what's interesting? They have a piece of the Berlin Wall there, and it's one of only two pieces of the Berlin Wall in the whole United States. In Orange County! Go figure." He's not overly engrossed by Berlin Wall remnants, but I don't care. I need to keep leading! "I don't know why. It's like you know the Lenin statue up in Fremont? That's the only Lenin statue in the whole country. I don't know what it means!"
"Huh."
The man's interest in discussing Communist revolutionaries and East German artifacts is approximately zilch. He lapses into silence. 

As he gets out he starts saying something about penises, but I heartily steamroll right over the guy with an enthusiastic and concerned "have a good one! Be safe now!"

On my last trip he reappeared. 

A distinct difference between taxi drivers and bus drivers is that taxi drivers can choose their fares. Bus drivers can't. I opened the doors at Mount Baker and a few people boarded, our begrimed friend included. But there was no cause for fear. We only talked about bus matters. There was no mention of trenchcoat removal, no dark muttering about fornication. I asked how his last hour had been, and where he was off to next. There'd been a mix-up with his keys. He need to go his landlord's to drop off a pair, and there was no bus going out that way for a while. We discussed landlords and bus routing in SoDo. As we approached Chinatown, we considered the remaining distance and figured it might be quicker for him to walk.

This time as he left he said something about beds, but once again I was entirely too busy thanking him to hear: "Be safe walkin' out there! Take it easy!"
"You too!"

Like nothing awkward had ever happened.
4 Comments
Bekah J
10/10/2015 08:27:06 am

Aagh. I'm glad you put up a post with this situation! I'd sometimes wonder how you danced around this type of encounter. It's a bit of a trigger for me, so I'm not sure I'd have the guts to do that. Kudos to you!

I was traveling out of the states in South Africa not too long ago, and, one of the questions I was asked twice was my current age. I found that if I just grinned and said, "Old. Very, very old," the guys that asked would only hesitantly try again and then drop it. Why I'm ridiculously proud of this, I haven't a clue. But this post reminded of that. A teeny bit.

Have fun in Cuba!!!

Reply
Nathan
10/11/2015 04:02:34 pm

Bekah J,

That's a great answer to the age question. I'm glad it worked as it did. I can imagine the inner thrill of rather masterfully controlling the situation, especially when traveling in a new/different place!

I'm convinced half of this is to do with projecting confidence. You know, like how they say kids who look down while walking down the hallways at school are more likely to get picked on than those who look straight ahead?

Reply
Bekah J
10/24/2015 02:06:25 pm

Mmmm.
Yeah. I see what you mean.

It's an energy/ intent that gives off a subtle sign of how you want others to treat you.
It's really subtle though, for a lot of people. Which is where you either endeavor to calmly but firmly outline your values or pick your battles. ;) There is also the third option. Something you do all the time: find common ground. Not easy stuff!!

Nathan
10/27/2015 10:10:51 am

Very subtle. It pains me that men are sometimes completely, woefully unaware that their advances are unwanted. I'll need to think more about this issue. On an unrelated note, I often wonder what I'm putting out that others can pick up on. I feel that whenever I have a poor day on the bus, it's not actually because of anything on the road but usually because of other things going on in my personal life. I feel to distracted, not as equipped to take on the somewhat considerable mental effort and presence of being to be patient all day.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    RSS Feed

    Subscribe

    Nathan


    -What is this blog? Check out the explanatory first post, or read the  front-page Seattle Times writeup here! 

    Here's a one-page crash course with links and highlights: Nathan Vass 101

    My Book is Finally Easy to Purchase!

    -For New Bus Drivers: Thoughts, Tips, and Stories
    -How to Drive the 7: The Complete Care Package

    Popular posts:

    Only have time for one story? Try these. 
    -The Day The Earth Stood Still
    -Le Park de Cal Anderson
    -
    21st Century Man
    -One Last Story (Video)
    ​
    -Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About the Great & Terrible 358
    -I'M A LIGHT-SKINNED BLACK WOMAN!
    -The Final Flurry: Index
    ​
    -Scroll down on this sidebar to "On the Street," below, for more highlights~

    Personal:
    -International Examiner Interview (Plus a word to my fellow Hapas!)
    -
    Full (Redmond) Circle (includes event gratitude writeup index)
    -Surviving the Social Desert: Nathan on High School
    -With What Time We Have
    -My Seattle
    -On Second Acts
    -Yves Klein, Color of the Heavens
    ​
    ​-Popular Posts from 2018, with Commentary
    -Nathan Vass, 2019 Washington State Book Award Finalist
    -Nathan on the Elliott Bay event: Parts I, II, and III
    -Seattle Magazine / Third & Cherry
    -Pretty Sure I Don't Deserve This
    -How I Live Now
    -Escaping the Overlords: Nathan on Comcast
    ​
    -I Am Now Ten Years Old
    -Confession
    -Flowers in a Pool of Blood: Thoughts From an American in Paris
    -Paris, One Year Later: A Personal Perspective
    -The Transgender Ban
    -Nathan on the Las Vegas shootings: On Terror & Other Things
    ​
    -The Birthday That Almost Never Happened
    ​
    -Nathan Takes a Day Off:
    Part 1 (See Nathan Run);
    Part 2 (Nathan Gets Excited); 
    Part 3 (Nathan Sounds Like Morgan Freeman)
    -Rad(iation) City
    -La La Land & What Los Angeles Means
    -Reparations
    -Names Nathan gets called! A list in three parts: 1, 2, 3
    -Where and How it All Began
    -How I Write the Posts, and Why
    -Chaleur Humaine
    -A Story
    -What Not to Say​
    -In Praise of Silver Hair
    -You're Been a Good Friend of Mine
    -...And a Splendid New Year!
    -Nathan Converses With His Colleagues: Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8... and 65

    Political:
    -What's In a Number (Trump's legacy)
    -Praise Island (Biden's win)
    -The United States of Floyd
    -The Great Male Detoxification Project
    -The Day the Music Died
    -Kindness In the Days of After
    -Understanding Love & Hate During Trump Nation
    -More than Health, More than Money
    -Seattle, Center of the Modern Universe
    ​
    ​-What We Did, Today
    -This Story Has Nothing to do With Donald Trump
    -Don't Be Scared of My Friends, Part I
    -Don't Be Scared of My Friends, Part II
    -The Music Isn't Dead (Yet)
    -Nathan Actually Talks Politics, Pt III: Keeping the Music Alive
    -Pulling Our Weight, Part II: Addressing the Homeless Laziness Question
    -Getting Some Diversity Off My Chest
    ​
    -The Veterans
    -Islamofriendia
    -Be at Peace, Mr. Garner. We Will Love the World For You
    -The Streets Regard Ferguson
    -How do You Change the World? Thoughts on Violence
    -Cowboys of the New Age: Status & Respect in the American Ghetto
    -A Boy Named Hamza: Thoughts on Hate in Three Parts 
    -It Used to Sound Like This

    ​On film & art:
    -Trois Objets 1: on Michael Mann's Heat
    -Trois objets 2: On Antonello da Messina's Annunciate Virgin
    -Trois Objets 3: On East of Eden
    -On Laura's Book
    -Nathan on Seattle's Waterfront: Before and After
    ​-Nathan's Films of 2019: Top 2 Plus 23 Runners Up (photos, trailers, analysis & more)
    -Once Upon a Time... in Dreams: On Tarantino, Violence, and Transcendence
    -On Finishing Men I Trust
    -The Lie & How to See It: On Hate, Despair & Hope in Contemporary Film
    -
    Notre Thoughts
    -Addressing Despair: Nathan on First Reformed
    -How Evergreen Became Irrelevant
    -October 2018 show breakdown: all the deets 
    -On Color Darkrooms
    -The Non-Bailers: Thank You to the Cast & Crew of Men I Trust, Pt I
    -People I Trust: Thanks to My Cast and Crew, Pt 2
    -Nathan's Overlooked Films of 2016: Trailers, photos, analyses
    -A Bus Driver Reviews the New Bus Driver Movie! 
    -My Films
    -Song to Song and Malick: The Cutting Edge
    ​
    -Nathan on Wet Lab Prints
    -Kehinde Wiley: The Morning After
    -Nathan the Friendly Hermit, Part I: Nathan Gets Pasty
    -
    Nathan the Friendly Hermit, Part II: Pastier and Pastier
    -Birdman, (a) Film of the Decade
    -
    Gone Girl: Fidelity & Subjectivity
    -On Gravity and Identity
    ​-Primary Colors with Music: Andrea Arnold's American Honey
    -Sicario: Why Visuals Matter
    -The Martian: On Intelligence in Pop Culture
    -About Elly
    -Best films of 2015: Trailers, photos, analyses
    -Selected writings on films released in 2014, 2013, and 2012. 

    On the Street:
    -It's Complicated (on Rainier RapidRide)
    -Jessica Lee
    -Ah, Volume
    -Eulogy for the Damned
    -King Travis
    ​-The Great and Terrible Fifth & Jackson: An Ethnography
    The Veterinarian: A Story on Grief in 4 Parts
    -The Glow
    -Decent Street: Kendrick, Gender, Lingo, & the Good Man Problem
    -The Shake'N'Bake: Parts 1, 2, & 3
    -
    Pulling Our Weight, Part I
    -Pulling Our Weight, Part II: Addressing the Homeless Laziness Question
    -I've Been Sainted
    -Dominique The Mystique
    ​
    -Deserve, the Concept and the Song
    ​-Gangsta Phone Strategy, Deep Breaths & Kindness Rising
    -The Joy of Bus Driving
    -The Knife's Edge Dance
    ​
    -The Soulful Stench
    -"Everybody Need to Quit Acting Hard and S**t"
    -The Mother's Day Apocalypse
    -Ode to the 358
    -"I BET YOU APPROVE UH GAY MARRIAGE"
    -The Question
    -By Himself
    -Appreciation
    -Banter in the Nighttime
    -The Nathan Train
    -The Benevolent Roar
    -Truthfulness, the Final Currency
    -Love is in the Air
    -Surfing the Sparkling Wave
    ​-Saddest Music in the World​
    -Rainier & Henderson, Baby!
    -Sheeeeeeyyiitt: Strategies for Day or Night
    ​-AngryNice I (Love Through Frustration)
    AngryNice II: Tran Chimes In
    AngryNice III (We've All Felt It)
    -Love (Hurting From a Lack Thereof)
    -Hip to be Joyful
    -Future, Present, Past
    ​-Changing Awful
    -Harsh
    ​-The Nameless Heroes
    -The Break-Up
    -Tropic Of
    -Figuring it All Out in the Bullpen
    -Leaving Small Talk Behind
    ​-She Did It On a Monday
    ​-One Day, My Friend
    -I Am Now Two Years Old
    ​-The Harder Thing
    -Poker Face Practice
    -The Great Freeze

    For Bus Drivers!
    --How to Drive the 7: The Complete Care Package
    -
    -It's Called Working
    -
    -Bus Driver Appreciation Day: Coronavirus Style
    -The Swagger I Love: Thoughts on My Fellow Operators
    ​-A Love Letter for My Colleagues: Exercises and Stretches for Operators
    -What I've Learned From Other Bus Drivers
    -Rest in Peace, Breda Monster
    -I Don't Know What a Trolley is, Part I
    -I Don't Know What a Trolley is, Part II
    -Verbal

    Archives

    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Book
  • On Cinema
    • Essays on Film
    • Top Film Lists & Reflections
    • On Terrence Malick
    • Nathan's Thesis
  • Photography
    • Death in Paris
    • Venizia
    • Napoli
    • Havana
    • Roma
    • Seoul
    • Milano
    • Shenzhen
    • Taipei
  • Men I Trust
  • About
  • Press
  • Speeches!
  • Upcoming Shows
  • Films